Interviews with real dominant women series: The most attractive quality in a submissive man? “his surrender”

In this interview Michelle shares how she uncovered her preference for Female Led Relationships and advice for women interested in exploring a FLR.

How did you first discover you were interested in a Female Led Dynamic?

I did not ‘discover’ I was ‘interested’ in a FLR. But rather came to realise I have always lived a FLR at one level or another. Through conversations and reading material I realized it was naturally who I am and the way I have lived and desire to live.

I realized it was exactly what my grandparents and great grandparents lived. My great grandfather had told me about my great grandmother and their FLR dynamic. It was a matriarchy marriage, and he worshiped the ground she walked on and loved her with the depth and whole of his heart and soul.

She ran the businesses and was head of the house, and he worked under her direction and guidance and was happy to do so. He supported her and found her to be a great leader. Even in his nineties he could not imagine nor want anything any other way.

I realized it was natural, many people live this way, and it came natural to me to live this way.

What has been your most useful in your education about Female Led Relationships?

Finding the title for the lifestyle (Female Led Relationships) was a door opening to what I searched for and helped me find like-minded individuals and the FLR community. Without the proper terminology it was like searching for a needle in a haystack.

The material I read and people with whom I spoke gave me more direction, advice, guidance, reassurance, and I realized at what depth I already understood FLR and that it was natural for me. I didn’t find anything to be new or foreign to me other than the terminology and abbreviations. Knowing the terminology and abbreviations were essential in order for me to find like-minded men in my search: men willing to serve.

What element of a FLR resonates with you most?

There is not one element over another, it is the whole. When a man surrenders to a true female led dynamic, a woman can be sure he is fully committed, and she is not left wondering. She is secure and can let go of insecurities which may have been there otherwise.

What advice would you share for women exploring a FLR?

The structure of a Female Led Relationship brings balance and security into the relationship. Women are natural leaders. They lead in every aspect of their life even if they do not identify it or are not recognized for it.

The natural maternal abilities of women help them to make better decisions, thinking with depth and thoroughness. To multitask. Men do not typically have these abilities.

Women who lead in their relationship (FLR) will find the stresses and concerns they experienced in a traditional participial relationship will dissipate. The man will have his focus on her and her needs. His surrender will bring forth a level of intimacy and dedication that neither of them would have experienced in other relationships.

She will be sexually satisfied and have the security and safety which isn’t always present in a patriarchal relationship. It’s exhilarating, no relationship can compare to the depth of love, trust, devotion, loyalty and dedication a FLR can offer a couple.

Ideal qualities you find attractive in submissive men?

Their desire to surrender. Their attentiveness. How they use and practice traditional gentleman practices, simple things like helping her with her coat, getting the door, holding the umbrella, holding her chair for her, serving her food and drink. Making her a priority, attending to her needs, anticipating her needs without her having to dictate every little need, him placing her sexual needs before his.

These gentlemen are more focused on her and making her life easier. His focus is on her rather than on other women. He keeps his focus on her and trusts her decision making.

What are the key considerations when women design their ideal FLR?

While considering a FLR women will take many things into consideration. I can’t speak for every woman.

Although, in general, I do feel many women will be concerned if there will be resistance from the male. How much more work will it be for her and how time consuming it will be for her? Will it be more work for her than she already has? Will it be worth her efforts?

Many women do not realize that the delegation of responsibilities is up to her and for the most part she is doing most of the work already. With her guidance, her instructions, feedback and rules in place it makes it easier for the couple to know what is expected. Everything will be done to her expectations. Once he is taught how she needs things done life becomes much easier for everyone.

Women are great at time and money management. These two alone will be very beneficial to the way they live. When done to her exact specifications there will be less money and time wasted making life easier.

Women do not typically enjoy bringing pain to another living being, not emotional, nor physical pain or discomfort.

She must recognize that as a Wife, Mother, Nurse, Doctor, Teacher, (Her roles are extensive) that it is often painful for the other person she helps. Discipline and punishment as well as rules and requirements may not always be easy. However, she is administering these to those she loves for the better good of the individual, relationship and the family as a whole.

When she takes these into consideration, she will realize she is designing a FLR in which they will be living, and it will be in the best interest of all. She will create the perfect balance in which will remove obstacles and challenges which were in previous relationships or her current relationship if that is what she is restructuring.

She takes into consideration how her partner may not place her needs before his and how frustrated she is, how unfulfilled she is, not that she is selfish because a woman typically puts everyone else before her own needs. In a FLR she gets what she needs, and it brings balance to the relationship.

She gets 2 votes, he gets 1, and because she leads in a FLR arguments, disagreements, security, cheating, financial issues and wasteful spending, distrust, and other negatives dissipate. She takes it into consideration how to structure her relationship to eliminate the negatives and create the perfect for them relationship lifestyle.

Women typically take every aspect of a relationship into consideration, it’s not narrowly focused.

How would you recommend women explore a FLR?

I would recommend women explore the information available to them about the basic food groups of a FLR (Life choices, sex, money, housework, free time). Take what resonates with them, and they are comfortable with. Decide where they would like to start and approach their partner with a trial basis of let’s say one to three months of the woman being in charge at her level of comfort. Taking small steps to not overwhelm herself.

Most likely she is already making the basic FLR decisions in the relationship, it is simply not acknowledged.

She could write up a short list of rules to start with and present them to her partner with a full understanding that there will be consequences of punishment. Weekly or even daily discipline will be in place to ensure the mindset that she is in charge. Some men will not welcome discipline or punishment, in this instance it may come to the forefront that possibly he is not a good match for her.

Miss Michelle

The joy of service, five ways to make the woman in your life happy

For men who acknowledge female leadership and the benefits of a female led relationship, here are five ways to serve her to make her life easier and more enjoyable.

As with all other advice on this site, these are just ideas, ultimately it is about making your partner happy and following her lead. It’s all about her; listen carefully to what she wants, what makes her happy and take action.

Five pillars of a female led dynamic:

  1. Be obedient

Simply put, do what she says. A female led relationship is not about the enactment of your male fantasies, it is the re-focussing of your entire life for the benefit of a Dominant woman. Male submission is not weakness, it takes great strength of character to openly accept female leadership in your relationship. It also means putting aside your ego, the norms in your upbringing and society expectations in exchange for living out your real purpose. Allow her to take the lead in all things, be obedient to her will, learn her ways, embrace her rules and preferences. Watch her leadership blossom as you concede to her growing dominance. Enjoy the immense fulfilment and sense of life purpose by focussing your life entirely on her.

  1. She’s the decision maker

Much conflict in relationships stems from disagreements over money, household chores or how couples spend their time. In a female led relationship, the man can relax and let the woman have final say on all major decision making. It’s not that your opinion is not important, just that your partnership is best if the woman in your life has final say on everything. She’ll make the best decision for the both of you.

She’s the manager, you are the subordinate. You work as a team, but ultimately, she is in charge. This open and agreed balance of power makes for a much more fulfilling and harmonious relationship. Major decisions or changes should not be made without her approval, let her take the lead and respect her decisions. Relax, knowing that she knows what is best for you, and just focus on your service to her.

  1. Do the heavy lifting

Do as much as the housework as possible, do it to a standard that makes her smile.

Being the leader can be tough, so shoulder as much of the menial work and day to day chores as possible to make her life easier. Real men know that the more they do, the happier their partner will be. Be a man about it and step up and do as much as possible so she doesn’t have to. Put aside chauvinistic stereotypes and do more than your partner, do it gladly and make her happy.

Especially find out the chores she really hates to do and make it your number one priority to ensure she never has to do them. Your goal should be that your female leader doesn’t have to lift a finger, doesn’t have to stress about doing things, so that she can focus on her leadership of the relationship.

  1. Learn

Focus on her, listen carefully to what she says, watch her reactions, be aware of what is going on. Be present. Watch for signals. What is pleasing her? Put aside your ego and accept her corrections and discipline as positive training. The better you get at serving her, the happier she will be, the stronger your partnership will be.

Look to continually improve, be a gentleman. Learn to charm her, romance her, continually surprise her, find new ways to show your devotion, to show you care. Forget who might be watching, what people might think, just think about pleasing her.

  1. Serve the Goddess

Set aside your kinks and selfish fantasies in favour of her absolute satisfaction. Learn to control your sexual urges and be a gentleman about it. Learn to channel your sexual energy, rather than focussing on your own self-satisfaction and selfish release, repurpose your life to focus on her satisfaction. Hand over control of your sexuality and sex life to your female leader.

Learn to pamper your Goddess outside the bedroom, wait on her, be her loyal and devoted butler. Proactively offer massages, fetch and carry for her, make her feel like a pampered Goddess. Do this – not as a means of earning rewards and your own selfish satisfaction, but for her satisfaction, for the joy of service itself. Give, and you will receive.