I will open this article with a nod to an astute reader query that recently landed in my inbox. Brace yourselves, ladies; it’s a spicy one:
“My darling husband and I have been exploring a Female Led Relationship for over a year now, and we are both enjoying the process. Through quite a few open chats, I’ve established that he has some quite ‘advanced’ fantasies! He said he thinks I should blindfold him, handcuff his hands behind his back, lock him in chastity and insist that he worships me intimately whenever I want with nothing in return. I know it seems ‘out there,’ but I don’t mind admitting I’m quite intrigued by the prospect. I’m glad he is being open with me, but I’ve also been reading about submissive men who ‘top from the bottom’. What to do?”
Exploring his fantasies on your terms
Well, my dear reader, first let me applaud you on two things: your explorative spirit and your canny consideration of the dynamic you’re crafting in your relationship. As women, we don’t want a puppet on a string; we want a willing partner who accepts and, yes, revels in his subservience. Now, let’s tackle your quandary in delectable detail.
To begin with, let’s address this concept of ‘topping from the bottom’. For those unacquainted, it’s when the submissive partner—your dashing husband in this case—starts to dictate the play, subtly controlling the situation. If not careful, the Mistress could end up being a pawn in her own kingdom, and we can’t have that, can we?
To avoid this, start by defining the terms of your reign. Ask him to kneel before you and express his desire to serve. Be explicit. He should state, “I wish to serve you, my Queen. I beg for the opportunity to satisfy your desires, with no expectations of reciprocity.” Now, that is music to our ears!
Once the intent is clear, introduce the elements of his fantasies one by one. Start with the blindfold and handcuffs. This is more than just bedroom theatrics, it’s a symbol of his trust and surrender. Let him taste submission, allow him to savour it. Only when you’re convinced of his sincere surrender, then and only then, introduce chastity.
Don’t rush into this, my dear. Chastity is the ultimate symbol of his submission, his commitment to your pleasure over his own. To ensure he is serving your desires rather than his own fantasies, you could make him earn the privilege of chastity. Perhaps he could prove his dedication by serving you impeccably for a week, or by doing tasks that show he is prioritizing your comfort and pleasure above his own.
Remember to frequently check in with him about his feelings and thoughts on the process. Maintaining open lines of communication is key to ensuring your dominance doesn’t topple into tyranny. A female-led relationship should be built on trust, respect, and mutual satisfaction.
Lastly, my dear reader, relish your role. This journey isn’t just about fulfilling his fantasies, but about discovering your own potential as a ruler. You might be surprised at the exquisite pleasure you find in the adoration, obedience, and worship of a man who’s willingly submitted to your reign.
Exploring his fantasies on your terms
Let’s lace up our boots and stride down the steps together. As we traverse this path, remember – you’re the conductor of this symphony. It’s always about your tune, not the whims of the musician.
Step 1: Have a Conversation
It all starts with an open, honest discussion. Explain that you’re open to his fantasy, but want to ensure it’s not about ‘topping from the bottom’.
Example: “Darling, I appreciate your openness about your fantasies. I find them interesting and worth exploring, but this journey we’re on is about my empowerment and our mutual pleasure. So, while we can include some elements you fantasize about, I want to ensure that I’m in control, and the scenario is primarily designed for my pleasure. Do you understand?”
Step 2: Set Your Terms
Here’s where you lay down the law. Be specific about when and how you’ll engage in the fantasy. Perhaps you only want to indulge on weekends or special occasions. Maybe you want to include some elements of the fantasy but exclude others. This is your time to establish those rules.
Example: “I love the idea of blindfolding you. It enhances your anticipation and my control. However, I will decide when we incorporate this, and it will always be combined with other forms of my pleasure. I also like the idea of you being cuffed, but I’ll be the one to choose the type of cuffs and the duration. As for chastity, that’s entirely on my discretion.”
Step 3: Communication During the Act
Once you’ve begun, maintain communication. Keep reminding him of your control. Make sure he knows that his pleasure is derived from yours.
Example: (While blindfolding him) “Remember, darling, the only thing you need to focus on is my pleasure. You’re here to serve me, not the other way around.”
Step 4: Aftercare
After the act, it’s essential to provide reassurance and affection, ensuring the dominant-submissive dynamic doesn’t bleed into your daily life and affect your relationship negatively.
Example: “That was a wonderful session. You served me well, and I enjoyed it. However, remember, this control extends only to our intimate time and it’s not about fulfilling your fantasies, but about my empowerment and pleasure. I appreciate your understanding and submission.”
Step 5: Regular Check-ins
Finally, keep checking in with each other. Discuss how you’re feeling, what worked, what didn’t, and make adjustments as necessary. Remember, it’s a journey, not a destination.
Example: “I’ve enjoyed exploring your fantasy under my terms, and it seems like you did too. However, I’d like to tweak a few things for next time. How do you feel about that?”
Making him beg for it
Part of your command and allure can certainly be making him earn the right to engage in such intimate service. This can introduce a delightful element of power play into your FLR dynamic.
Step 1: Set the Precedent
Let him know that this sort of intimate service isn’t just a given – it’s a privilege that he needs to earn.
Example: “Sweetheart, your fantasy involves a level of intimacy and trust that is a privilege, not a right. If this is the path you wish to tread, you need to prove your worthiness and commitment to serve me.”
Step 2: Define the Rules of Earning
Create specific actions or tasks that he must complete to earn his privilege. These can range from daily chores to acts of devotion, entirely dependent on your personal preferences.
Example: “You can earn this privilege by focusing more on my needs. I’d like you to make my life easier – handle the housework, prepare my favorite meals, give me massages. Show me through your actions that my comfort and satisfaction are your priority.”
Step 3: Begging – The Ultimate Submission
The act of begging can be a profound sign of submission. It reinforces your power and makes him acknowledge your dominance explicitly.
Example: “When you feel you’ve earned it, I want you to beg for the privilege of worshipping me. And remember, it’s not just about words, but the sincerity in your voice and the actions that back them up.”
Step 4: Reward and Reinforce
When he has proved himself worthy, reward him by granting the privilege. But always remind him that it’s just that – a privilege, not a right.
Example: “You’ve been attentive and dutiful. I am pleased. I will grant you the privilege of serving me as you fantasized, but remember, it’s under my rules, and it’s all about my pleasure.”
Summary – Exploring his fantasies on your terms
The act of making him earn the right to engage in this fantasy serves two purposes. It reinforces your dominance and control, and it ensures he remains committed to prioritizing your needs and satisfaction. Remember, my dear, the keys to your kingdom are always, always in your hands.
In conclusion, dear reader, keep the communication flowing and the control intact. It’s a delicate balance, but with patience and mutual respect, you’ll create a harmonious symphony of empowerment and pleasure. Happy reigning!