Kickstart your FLR: A guide for men trapped in a vanilla relationship

Introducing Female-led relationships to your partner

Oh, darlings, gather round. It’s time for a bit of heart-to-heart, a whisper of wisdom from yours truly, Cat Boulder.

Now, isn’t it just deliciously ironic that in a world where we goddesses reign supreme, it’s the men, yes the men, who are stepping up, craving to relinquish the reins to their queens. A whopping 80% of men initiate the FLR, so to create more female-led relationships, it would be great for more men to ignite the leader in the superior partners.

So, this article is mainly for men trapped in a vanilla partnership and wishing to begin a life of servitude and obedience led by their superior partner.

Kickstart your FLR: Start Gently

This is crucial because, let’s face it, even the best-intentioned messages can be misinterpreted if delivered poorly. So listen up, gentlemen, this is your roadmap to making the introduction as smooth as a well-aged scotch.

Choose the Right Moment

This is not a casual, “Hey, look what I found on the internet!” conversation. Pick a time when both of you can sit down, distraction-free, for a meaningful dialogue.

 Kickstart your FLR: Set the Stage

You want to introduce her to my free guide. Before handing over the guide, frame the conversation. Make it clear that this is something you’ve been thinking about and researching, not just a fleeting idea. A little preamble never hurt anyone.

To help with the process, here are some examples of how you might position it:

  • “My love, I’ve always admired your strength and intuition. I came across a guide that celebrates these qualities in a relationship, and I thought of you immediately. Would you be open to exploring it together?”
  • “Darling, you know how much I value your perspective and leadership in our life. There’s this interesting guide I found about relationships where those qualities shine even brighter. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.”
  • “I’ve been reflecting on how we can grow even closer and support each other more. I stumbled upon a guide about Female-Led Relationships, and it resonated with me. Can we discuss it over dinner?”
  • “I admire the way you lead with such grace and wisdom. There’s a guide I found about relationships that could further empower us, with you at the helm. Would you be interested in exploring it together?”
  • “Our partnership means the world to me, and I’m always looking for ways to deepen our connection. I found a guide about a unique relationship dynamic that I think could bring us even closer. Let’s explore it together.”
  • “You have such a natural ability to lead and make decisions that I deeply respect. I found a guide about relationships that embrace and celebrate that, and I’d love to get your thoughts on it.”
  • “I cherish the balance and harmony we have, and I believe we can enhance it even further. There’s a guide about Female-Led Relationships that could be our next adventure together. What do you say?”
  • “I feel we’re at a stage where we can explore new dimensions of our relationship. I discovered a guide about Female-Led Relationships that seems promising. Would you be open to exploring this concept with me?”
  • “Your confidence and leadership qualities are so inspiring. I’ve come across a guide that talks about relationships thriving under female leadership. It made me think of you, and I’d love to explore it together.”
  • “I’ve been thinking about how we can make our relationship even more fulfilling. I found a guide that discusses Female-Led Relationships in a very respectful and empowering way. I’m curious to know your thoughts.”
  • “Exploring new ideas together has always been something I cherish about us. I found a guide about Female-Led Relationships that presents some intriguing concepts. Let’s dive into it together and see where it leads.”
  • “Our relationship is a beautiful journey, and I believe we can make it even more so. There’s a guide I found about enhancing relationships through female leadership. It’s non-explicit and quite respectful. Shall we explore it?”
  • Each of these statements is a gentle invitation, a soft knock on the door of possibilities, wrapped in the silk of admiration and the velvet of mutual respect. They are not just words, but keys to unlock deeper realms of connection and understanding in your sacred partnership.

Be Open, Not Prescriptive

Present the guide as a starting point for discussion, not a manifesto. Remember, an FLR is a partnership. Even if she’s leading, you both need to be on board with the idea.

Speak Your Truth

Share your personal motivations for wanting to explore an FLR. Make it about the relationship and how you believe this could benefit both of you, rather than just a personal kink or whim.

Offer to Explore Together

Perhaps suggest that you both read through the guide and then share your thoughts. Even better, take the initiative to print out two copies, as my charming interlocutor pointed out earlier. Complete the workbook sections separately and then review them together.

Be Prepared for Questions…and Silence

She may have questions immediately, or she may need time to process. Either is okay. The point is to open the door for a dialogue, not to have all the answers on the spot.


After you’ve said your piece and presented the guide, give her the floor. Remember, this is about creating a Female-Led Relationship. Her thoughts and feelings should take center stage now.

Be Patient

If she’s hesitant or unsure, don’t push. The best FLRs grow organically over time. Your job is to plant the seed; give her the space and autonomy to water it.

 Kickstart your FLR - Introducing Female-led relationships to your partner
Kickstart your FLR- Introducing Female-led relationships to your partner

Kickstart your FLR: Bonus Tip for men in a vanilla relationship

No masturbation or porn! Masturbation and porn kills intimacy and will not lead to a FLR. If you want to serve your queen for real, commit to no porn and zero masturbation (Edging with strictly no release is permitted once a day as long as it is NOT based on porn, but instead visualising your wife being happy with your service and obedience).

There you have it, gentlemen. You’ve been given the keys to the castle; now it’s time to hand them over respectfully and thoughtfully. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your relationship’s favour.

  • Free Guide here.
  • And if she wants to explore a FLR fully, then suggest she reads the Temple. 

Author: Cat Boulder

Meet Cat Boulder: a sassy blogger unapologetically championing Female Supremacy with a cheeky grin and a sharp pen. She's not just preaching women's strength and leadership – she's a live wire sparking a gender-role rebellion. For Cat, women are more than leaders; they're queens to be served joyfully by men, weaving bonds of strength and sisterhood in every aspect of life. Through her zesty prose, she empowers women to own their dominance while guiding men to embrace humble servitude with gusto. Forget traditional norms – Cat's writing ignites a feisty journey towards a world where women reign supreme, and relationships bask in a harmonious matriarchy. Follow Cat on Tumblr, X or Instagram

One thought on “Kickstart your FLR: A guide for men trapped in a vanilla relationship”

  1. The biggest issue for men who want to be in a loving FLR is they have to share it with their partner. They have to be willing to take a chance and have faith that their desire to please and serve their partner will be accepted and appreciated. Naturally, we’re all afraid of rejection and when proposing a FLR, that rejection can be amplified because it speaks to an issue that is dear to the man who is proposing it.

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