Being obedient to a Dominant woman and living a life of servitude under her leadership can provide submissive men an enormous sense of calm and deep-rooted feeling of contentment. Serving women in a FLR gives men purpose.
His new role in life, when he becomes a partner to a Dominant woman, is to serve.
Through his dedicated service he gains great clarity about what his life is all about, why he exists, what life is for. He exists to serve her. His goal in life is to obey and please. By meeting this goal, obeying her wishes and pleasing her, he reaches fulfilment in his life. His life has meaning.
Many men get distracted as to what their goal is, perhaps by embarrassment at being submissive or the expectations of friends, family and society as to “what a man is”. True happiness comes from recognising that submission is natural and society expectations are toxic.
The role of the dominant is to remind him of his purpose and keep him on track. Like an overexcited puppy straining at the leash, sometimes a light tug in the right direction is all that is needed to remind him of his place in your life, at your feet.
From a dominant woman seeking a man with purpose:
“I want a man that understands obedience. I want a man that structures his whole life around making me happy. My man will follow my rules every day and will always be striving to please me. Through serving me, his life will have real focus and purpose. My man will wholeheartedly accept my training to make him a better husband. He will be my bitch, and he will gain an enormous sense of purpose, calm and wellbeing by being my bitch”
With this clarity of purpose comes an enormous sense of calm, focus and wellbeing. The submissive man has one goal, to follow her rules and be as attentive and considerate as he can.
He can relax, knowing that she is in charge and she will take care of the important decision making. Of course, if permitted he can add his well-considered and polite input, but ultimately, he can relax knowing, as the leader, she will make the best decisions for both of them. By letting go of major decision making and focussing on service, a submissive man can attain an enormous sense of calm and contentedness in his life.
For women wanted to lead in their relationships there are three simple elements to consider providing your man a sense of purpose, and therefore happiness:
- Set clear goals and boundaries – Be absolutely clear on what good looks like. Set him a definitive list of things he must do, the standards you expect and what he needs to do to please you. Don’t worry if this sounds onerous, it’s his job to create and maintain the list!
- Let him know when he has pleased you – reward good behaviour. A simple “good boy” and pat on the bottom does wonders to the psyche of a submissive man.
- Let him know when he has disappointed you – Be crystal clear about when he doesn’t meet your standards and has not pleased you and follow through with your own version of punishment.
Many women create unique reward and punishment systems to modify the behaviour of their submissive man over time. As with all things FLR, there is no right way or wrong way to do this. It’s your relationship and you are the boss, but it is recommended that you set standards and provide crystal clear feedback.
Finally, control is maintained by keeping your submissive in a subservient state of mind. Dominants use their authority to “snap” him into the right mindset. For example, Female-Led-Couple writes:
“He comes out of subspace to go to work or to go out away from me, other than that no, at home I expect and require him to be in a heightened state of submission and service to me. I keep him under my control when in my presence at all times. When he returns home, I simply click my fingers and offer my heels or feet to lick to bring him back under my spell.”
By knowing where he stands at all times, he can focus on pleasing you and following your leadership and live a happy and fulfilling life of service.
An outstanding article that provides specific detail as to how why and what to do to further the submission of the husband/sub. The info is general in nature but it provides a base blue print to be used to build the foundation and ultimately the right and greatest relationship.
Dear Robert, Mistress and i have read your reply and agree totally with your premise. She has instructed me to write to you. In O/our Wife/submissive husband relationship, rules are set and expectations are to be met in a timely manner. There is no room for excuses or laziness. Mistress orders weekly chores and obligations, all of which are assessed under close scrutiny. Failure to meet these goals results in Punishments, sometimes severe, designed to motivate me to reflect on my misgivings and guide me in becoming a better submissive. Ultimately, my Obedience and “service” to Mistress is paramount as i worship and honor Her with my respect and love. She is my Goddess and i live to serve. Respectfully submitted, subcasey
Love this. It so resonates with me.
I agree with Robert. The article is succinct and to the point about the general idea of how a genuine (whatever that means to you) submissive husband gets pleasure in a WLM. Thank you for writing this. This will go in the lineup of articles/blogs I read to my Mistress Wife every Sunday morning.
Perfect description of the ideal FLR relationship. Young ladies should be raised with full awareness of the option to create this kind of relationship for themselves in later life. Women who choose to pursue this lifestyle, and the domestically subby boys who hope to be chosen by them, should do so openly and with pride.
I ike that you say submission is natural but I think it would take a woman to help me reach my potential.
Oh Where can I Start… Found my Submissive Husband side 8 years ago ..im a 60 year old man married 27 years to a wonderful Very vanilla very uncorrupted a bit prudish woman . I have begged her for more dominance and control of our Marriage… I now do the laundry cooking cleaning I drive her everywhere… I call her ma’am Goddess and Queen … I do all my chores naked feeling even more Submissive (which she does notice and comment on) She loves all the niceties and hard work I do for her …. I have gone way ahead into VERY ADVANCED FLR with Total Dominance, Humiliation and Cuckholding…. (after being told many years I am a terrible selfish Lover…(Being her one and only LOVER ) I have told her she deserves a real ALPHA man to bring her REAL SEXUAL PLEASURE that I cannot give especially now 🙁 I just found your FLR/info page and have been eating it up with a spoon seeing what I can share with her from it. Thank you Keep up the Great work ..We all NEEEEED You …Kev
I just wanted to say how lucky you men are that has found a superior lady to serve. It has always been my dream to have a lady make my decisions for me.
I LOVE THIS SITE !
After 20 years of fighting my true inner self, submissive self in my mid-40s going into my late-40s I surrendered and waved the white flag. Coming to terms that I need discipline and that discipline must come from a strong and strict woman in my life to which I have now has made me much stronger in my submission mentally. It’s also helped to weaken my heart to becoming more humbled in my attitude. My soul has dealt with my ego and with the help of a loving woman in life I am truly a changed man. Gone are the days of a rage-filled religious Bible thumper. Yes, I am a Christian who has indeed reformed himself to be more meek in my approach. I wish I could lay out the words to describe how true submission really feels. The only word that best describes it all is liberating. It’s so liberating that I’ve fallen in love with the terms I once feared. Submit, Submission, Surrender, Obey, Obedience, Humility, Humbling, & Humbled are all a part of me now. Being truly in love with a strong and strict woman who is a powerful Alpha Female is the best thing that’s happened to me in my older adult life.
Hi all the fans of Cat
I am a strong believers in female superiority since i was young, I saw how my mother’s whom pass down her feminists believes to me and now I am passing it sown to my son and daughters.
My husband used to be a macho pig until i broken him down twenty over years ago after my son was born. Ever since he has been doing all house chore and serving me like a good old house wife in the fifties. ha ha !!
In my house my husband and son would takes of all house work, following our decisions while I trained my daughters to be the leaders doing all the planning and decision making. My daughter’s school grades are all above good grades, so i wants them to pursue further U while my son were not doing well in schools. SO i decided to let him go to vocation schools to learn some trade.
All these are happening not just in my family but i can see in the overall environment where boys are lagging behind all school subjects. I visited my daughter’s university graduation and i can see there were more percentage of girls graduation and infact all the best grades students were all girls.
I see this as a trend and i am confident to said that the future definately belongs to women.