In this article we interview Goodday, a submissive male on his lifelong journey in submission and his surrender to the divine feminine.
- When did you first discover you were submissive? Can you describe the process of finding out about this side of yourself and what you’ve learnt along the way?
My first exposure to erotic literature/pornography was a book under my mothers bed that had to do with female domination. The erotica that I read as a teenager, The Pearl, A Man and His Maid etc had to do with female domination and male submission. Very arousing, but I didn’t realise that I was a submissive at that time.
Reflecting on this I realise that I always was attracted to stronger and sometimes mean girlfriends but I didn’t really get my arms around my submissive nature until I was in my 30s and 40s. In my 30s whilst I realised I had these very strange desires I thought that they were just fantasies, that you could find a partner and live D/s as a real lifestyle and so I married a very “nice girl”.
In the next 10 to 20 years I realised that this “desire” was a legitimate part of me. And of course at this stage of my life I was learning a whole lot more about who I really was, the depth and breadth of my soul and heart and body. Eventually this all led to a divorce and gave me the opportunity to legitimately pursue my desire to find a partner who would really embrace this not only as a kink but has a committed lifestyle.
It was clear to me that not only personally but politically and spiritually finding a partner who would embrace my submission was something I could not compromise on. I realised that I wanted a partner to join together embracing living this lifestyle to satisfy both of our spiritual, political and sensual needs. In other words I wanted to find a partner to be an example of overturning the patriarchy and living a life in which the Divine Feminine, the Goddess, was revered and respected. I wanted to find a partner who understood that D/s was real and more than a kink, that it was a sacred path and an important political path as well.
- How did you meet your Wife? Marriage can be steeped in tradition and rituals, yet refreshingly she proposed to you, can you describe how this happened and how you felt about it?
We met via a tantra community event in our area. I am delighted to say that we are now married. I was delighted that She proposed to me. I Felt it was unusual and at the same time I had a profound sense of calmness knowing that she exercised her power and her love in this way. It also was one of those moments that made me feel deeply submissive in all its beautiful shades.
- What has been most useful in your education / learning of Female Led Relationships and Female Domination?
I am honoured to say that we have gone deep enough to understand clearly that this is more than a kink. Indeed it is a kink for us but it is much more than that. It is a spiritual path and lifestyle that not only creates a household that is much more loving than it would otherwise be but it is also a micro model of how a community or a nation could be run as well.
Well I do have parts that are resistant and get angry and sad and scared. I am also amazed at the calm that this dynamic brings to my life and the pure joy I get from surrendering to this reality and devoting my life to my partner and the Goddess. My partner is very in tune with Goddess, the Divine Feminine and that the Goddess drives our exploration and development through my partner and through our relationship.
- Could you describe the structure of your FLR and any rules or protocols that define your dynamic
Ours is a constantly blossoming phenomenon. Our relationship flows as my partner and the Divine feminine wishes it too. I am totally committed to serving my partner and serving the Goddess.
Given that I am retired I devote my life, to the ever growing extent that I can, to serving Her. I do all the housework, cooking, errands, yard work that I can. This service allows me to deepen my expression of gratitude and love to my partner and the Goddess.
We have been married for a year and been in a relationship for about six years. In about year two we decided to get serious about this. I introduced my partner to this. As you would expect my desires for her to be more active in this regard, to do it quicker etc. has been present. Despite that, my partner always moves at her own pace.
She was confident and clear that she would move in this direction only how and when the Goddess moved her to do so and she has been very sure and secure about this. It has now come to the point that I have opened myself up to this phenomena and let go of topping from the bottom, the tantrums and my desire to control and often feel the Goddess energy directing me and communicating with me as well.
In the past year we have gotten much more evolved and embraced life as a Goddess/slave relationship much more fully. The transformation of my spiritual self has been remarkable as I surrender to the desires of my partner and I listen to her as a submissive/slave should. I would be foolish not to add that through this process our ability to process our emotions together as they arise has been essential (and there have been lots).
Morning and evening check-ins are not unusual for us. My partner’s sophistication and evolution in the emotional and spiritual realms has been an essential element allowing us to develop the depth of our relationship as Goddess and slave.
- What has been the most useful thing when learning about FLR?
I have learned so much that I hardly know how to answer this question. Perhaps the one word would be “surrender“. Surrender my ego, Surrender the mantle of patriarchy that is in my mind, body and genes, Surrender my desire to orgasm and be totally open to the desires of my partner and the Goddess. To Constantly Grow the trust I have for Her.
Surrender, Surrender, Surrender. Serve, Serve, Serve.
- What would you recommend to men reading this who want to explore a FLR with their partner or find a Dominant woman?
Without a doubt the best book I have read is Practical FLR by JM Scott and the other books she has written.
I also recommend The Control Book by Peter Masters which focuses strictly on the practice and psychology of control.