Miss Angelina raises a great point in her comment on my article ‘Training your man to politely articulate his needs’
“If I may be honest. About the Domestic Blueprint….. I like my boy to be proactive around the house. It’s supposed to make my life easier. If I need to keep micromanaging all obvious routines and chores…. no, Thinking about it already irritates me. So, the ‘not lift a finger before I say so’ will only work on things outside our routines. Otherwise. He better have things done without me having to think about it.” Comment
How to train your husband – it’s your decision.
Oh, Miss Angelina, your point is as multifaceted as my favourite diamond choker. You see, ladies, not all Female-Led Relationships are cut from the same luscious fabric. Some women enjoy a man they can control like a marionette—every string pull resulting in a carefully orchestrated movement. And that’s their prerogative; no judgment here.
But let’s spill some tea: There are those of us who lean toward a more “set it and forget it” philosophy. Think of your man as a high-end dishwasher—sleek, efficient, and, let’s be real, a dream to show off when the girlfriends come over. He should be as reliable as your favourite little black dress, needing a tune-up now and then but otherwise functioning like a champ.
I mean, the whole point of an FLR is to make your life easier, not to have you stuck in an eternal game of ‘Simon Says.’ If your beau’s not operating at optimum levels at least 99% of the time, honey, it’s time for a firmware update, if you know what I mean.
The takeaway? Whether you’re a ‘Micromanage Monica’ or a ‘Set-It-and-Sip-Your-Margarita Maria,’ the end goal is the same: a relationship that serves you. So choose your own adventure, divas, and make sure he’s the sort of appliance—um, I mean, man—that complements your fabulous lifestyle.
If you prefer your man on auto-pilot – here is a quick guide:
Four steps to hubby serving on auto-pilot
Ah, the dream of every woman in a Female-Led Relationship: a man who serves as seamlessly as your favourite push-up bra—lifting and supporting without any poking or prodding. Now, training a man to operate on “autopilot” is an art form, darling. But worry not; like every great artist, you just need the right brushes, some vivid colours, and a vision.
- Communicate and Train: Think of it as your version of a ‘teaching moment’. For instance, if you prefer your espresso shot just right, show him how it’s done. Have him practice until he gets that creamy, velvety texture every single time. Guide him on how you like your shirts ironed or how you want the bathroom organised after his ‘tidying sessions’. His houseboy duties? It’s like him being your personal assistant, giving you more time to soak in the tub or read that latest bestseller. Let him understand it’s a path to your happiness, creating an ambience where he yearns to outdo himself every single day.
- Routines and Checklists: Once standards are set, Let’s bring some life into this, shall we? Imagine setting a routine, like his ‘Monday Spa Day’, where he pampers you with a foot massage after he’s done mopping those floors. And for those checklists? Picture a ‘Sensuous Saturday’, where among the ten tasks is preparing breakfast in bed and arranging those delicate flowers you love. The point? The tasks are expected, like clockwork, come rain or shine.
- Perform spot-checks: Ever heard of the ‘Pop-in Princess’? Be her. On a random Wednesday, after he’s supposedly ‘tidied’ the living room, surprise him. Check under the sofa cushions or see if he’s remembered to dust the chandeliers. These little surprise checks? They’re not about being nitpicky but to keep him alert and, dare we say, a little eager for your next surprise visit.
- Grant rewards or punishment accordingly: Oh, here’s where it gets delicious! If he’s aced his tasks, perhaps reward him with an exclusive date night, where he gets to bask in your radiant attention—messed up? Maybe it’s time he organises that shoe closet of yours, pairing up the 50+ heels and flats (without any labels or help, of course). A hint of mischief, a dash of control, and a whole lot of fun for you!
Once you’ve got him running smoothly, sit back and savour the fruits of your labour. There’s nothing like the thrill of a man who can meet your needs without you having to spell it out every time. Ah, the smell of efficiency in the morning—it’s almost as good as fresh coffee.
So there you have it. With the right blend of leadership, structure, and incentivising, you can turn your man into a self-sufficient servant who complements your fabulous life rather than complicating it.
Get that whip cracking—figuratively, of course—and remember: Behind every great woman is a man who knows better than to get in her way.