Women can dominate men’s life in different ways within a Female Led Relationship.
I found the About FLR website a useful resource when I was learning about Female Led Relationships. In particular, I liked the five food groups. It’s useful when a man is maturing as a submissive and waking up to the fact that a FLR is about service first, not kink.
In fact, I would argue that any couple, within a FLR or not, should discuss the five food groups before a long term relationship, and certainly before living together.
The basic premise is that a couple will argue and friction stems from five key areas, and by discussing and conceding the lead on these five areas to the Female Dominant, the couple has a much more peaceful dynamic and deep understanding of their roles. It’s not a prescriptive formula – but great for discussion, especially when starting out.
The Five Food groups described by AboutFLR are Money, Life Direction, Free Time, Housework and Sex. The website recommends that the Dominant decides how much control she wishes to exert over these five areas dependent on HER wishes.
It might be simple high level oversight or tight micromanagement or somewhere in between. Her decision. Again, to stress it’s just for stimulating conversation on topics that couples argue most about, it’s not a prescription.
The five food groups are as follows:
Women can dominate the money:
For me this has nothing to do with “Findomme” or fetishising money or power, but simply that the Dominant might want to exert her control over financial decision making. Maybe from complete control and allowing the male submissive husband an allowance or just approval for major purchases, whatever level of control she desires. Money is a huge area of conflict for many couples, so the man conceding final power to the woman makes for a much more harmonious relationship.
Women can dominate life direction:
Life direction refers to major life decisions such as moving house, changing jobs or moving to another area. Again, as with money, another source of potential conflict. In some Female Led Relationships the woman has final say on overall life direction and the major decisions of the couple. The submissive man might voice his opinion respectfully, but ultimately the Dominant has final say and makes the decisions for both of them. If the man’s opinion differs from his Dominant, he concedes to her authority because he knows she will make a decision in the best interests of the couple.
Women can dominate his free time:
This area might create a source of conflict for some couples. What does the man do with his spare time? Some women in patriarchal relationships are sport or hobby widows, losing their partner for an entire weekend playing sports or pursuing their interests. In contrast, in a Female Led Dynamic the female leader might decide how he spends his time. Cleaning the house or pampering her perhaps! Pursuing interests might be a special treat for good behaviour. Whatever happens, the woman decides. Her control and smarter decision making strengthens the relationship for both of them.
Women can delegate the housework
In a female dominated relationship the man lives to serve the woman’s needs and make her life easier. She may choose that he helps with housework, that he does the items she doesn’t enjoy doing, or for some couples the Woman outsources all housework, chores and life admin to her submissive husband. Anything to make her happy. A man can follow lists and standing orders, with periodic checks for quality, whilst the woman can either relax or get on with something more interesting.
Women can dominate in the bedroom:
Finally, the woman’s pleasure comes first in a female led relationship. Sex is always on her terms and focussed on her pleasure or what she wants to do. For many couples in a Female Led Dynamic the woman decides if or when the man receives pleasure or an orgasm. Some couples use chastity devices as a means of emphasising the woman’s power. In this instance a man can’t even get an erection without her permission. Submissive men can be trained to provide sexual service to their partner without any need for reciprocation for the man. The submissive man in a FLR should always accept his partner’s advances, learn her preferences, and always follow her lead. For many submissive men, to give is to receive, giving their Dominant pleasure gives them an enormous amount of pleasure.
As I mentioned above, I believe every relationship, FLR or not, should consider these five good groups.
For some reading this, you might seem bewildered why a man might seek this servitude and slave like life, but for a submissive man, it is his life’s desire, to be under the command of a truly dominant woman.
Thanks for a wonderful writing! These are things I’ve wanted my entire adult life!
I just couldn’t make it happen. And now I’m too old and without a strong woman.
Please keep writing this valuable information for men that need to learn and obey!
I agree!~! Women rule! I get along with women who can handle a man, I respect her. I can’t do everything, I can rely on her for direction and guidance I need, I like putting her needs first and listening, being attentive and ready to listen to her!
If you’re interested in a FLR, then I advise reading the blog listed below. It’s very informative and is written by a real-life authentic Domme. She lives the lifestyle and has done for many years. Her BDSM manual is packed full of useful advice and her Journals are a fascinating insight into a world of total domination. Highly recommended reading!
https://msscarletuk.wordpress.com/
As one who has always admired Women, it is only logical that one relinquish all of life’s activities to them. To achieve happiness for myself, I must first ensure Her happiness. These five topics are the basis from which happiness is derived. To comply with her wishes is the only way be fully happy. I happily surrendered the image of my sexual identity and have been locked in a chastity cage for over four years now. That part of my life has never been better or happier since She now controls my focus and channels those energies to Her. I am rewarded as She sees fit and based on my ability to bring Her happiness. This is as it should be.
A good flr is one where the woman is happy with how the male behaves. She may let him handle the money and make decisions if she feels like and as long as his behavior pleases her. The same is true for sex , some women like a man who is hot for them all the time since he is willing to perform whenever she wishes. There are probably many ways to train a man but one sure way to break a man’s resistance and change his self image is to take him anally with fingers and vibrators. It works even better if you make him orgasm from prostrate stimulation since he may not be erect and has no urge to thrust his dick. This will change how the woman sees her man as well and she will find he becomes more submissive with each session. A little bit of cuckolding can work wonders as well specially if you involve him and make it seem like it is his idea. The more extreme cucking the more submissive he will become even gladly finding other men and cleaning up the mess they leave
Good article!
I currently am the sole bread-winner with a good career!
My husband stays home and does pretty much all the inside and outside work. I help out sometimes but they’re his responsibility.
We’ve evolved to where i tell him when I’m going out but he always asks me when he wants to go out. I tell him what time to be home by. I seized control , if you will, by after I started taking control I’d told him something I wanted to do on a Saturday. At some point he went and made plans with friends to golf. I made him call them up and cancel. He really bucked that!
I stayed calm, resolute and spanked the daylights out of him for his rebellion and attitude! I told him I’d call his friends for him to save him the embarrassment of having to call himself and I thought they’d understand that he wasn’t allowed and I had to discipline him.
He was SO NOT happy about that and begged to call them and cancel! I spared him his dignity and let him call as he should have in the first place. (Only now he was calling with a bare red behind!)
Now he always asks in advance if he can go out with friends and if I had plans.
My husband is given money for himself to spend,save or budget. He also has a small credit card that he’s in charge of paying. It’s astonishing to me how many times he’s had to sit on cushions because he was late in paying his card!
At restaurants I pay.
In the bedroom unless told otherwise I have the say and I’d better be pleasured satisfactorily before he releases. I let him know when or if he can. If I let him masturbate I’m always with him while he does. (Unless we’re at someone else’s house and I send him to the bathroom for a quick release to calm him if he’s getting into serious discussions on too heated watching sports.)