FLR Dating: Distinguishing Genuine Connections from Kink Obsession

A reader writes:

“You have written about Dominant women being approached by fetish-oriented men looking to have their kinks explored versus those genuine submissive men wishing to serve selflessly and dedicate their life to pleasing a dominant. How would you recommend women learn about their differences?”

Oh, darling, the dance of discerning a true servant from a kink-obsessed enthusiast is as intricate as it is essential. Navigating the world of Female-Led Relationships (FLR) requires a blend of intuition, wisdom, and a dash of sass. Let’s dive into this deliciously complex journey.

Firstly, Communication is Queen. Engage in open, honest discussions about what a FLR means to both of you. Is it a full-time commitment or a bedroom-only affair? A man truly devoted to serving your needs will prioritise your vision of the relationship, not just his fantasies.

Test: Initiate a conversation about future plans or daily routines that don’t involve any kink aspects. Observe how he responds to discussions about mundane tasks or serious life decisions. Does he listen actively and contribute meaningfully, showing interest in aspects of your life that aren’t kinky?

Secondly, Actions Speak Louder Than Whips. Watch how he behaves outside the realm of kink. Does he offer help with your day-to-day needs? Does he respect your boundaries and opinions, even when they don’t align with his desires? A man genuinely invested in a FLR will show consistency in his service and respect, transcending beyond the bedroom.

Test: Ask for assistance with non-kinky, everyday tasks like fixing something, running errands, or managing some aspect of your daily routine. Notice if he does these tasks willingly and without expecting any ‘kinky rewards’ in return.

Thirdly, Patience is a Seductive Virtue. A kink-obsessed individual might push for quick escalation into the dynamic. A true servant, however, understands the value of building trust and rapport over time. He knows that a meaningful FLR is not built overnight.

Test: Deliberately take things slow in the relationship, especially in the aspects that align with his kinks. See if he respects this pace without showing frustration or trying to rush you into more kink-focused interactions.

Fourthly, Seek the Subtle Signs. How does he react when the focus is entirely on your pleasure or convenience, without any kinky overtones? A man who relishes in your happiness and comfort, with no strings attached, is showing signs of genuine servitude.

Test: Plan a day where the focus is solely on activities you enjoy, which might not necessarily be of interest to him. This could be a spa day, shopping, or a visit to an art exhibition. Observe his behaviour – is he genuinely happy seeing you happy?

Fifthly, Fantasy vs. Reality. In the early stages, discuss hypothetical scenarios. How would he handle everyday situations under your leadership? His responses can give you a peek into his true understanding and willingness to embrace a FLR lifestyle.

Test: Discuss hypothetical scenarios like handling finances, chores, or decision-making in the relationship. Pay attention to his answers. Does he seem to understand and agree with the reality of a FLR, or is he more focused on the fantasy aspects?

Lastly, Trust Your Instincts. Never underestimate the power of your intuition. If something feels off, it probably is. Remember, you’re the one in charge. You set the pace; you set the standards.

Test: This is more about your inner observation. Notice how you feel around him. Are you relaxed, confident, and secure, or do you feel uneasy and doubtful? Your gut feeling is often a powerful indicator.

Remember, it’s all about finding someone who values and respects your desires as much as you respect theirs. This dance of discernment is about ensuring that your needs, aspirations, and vision for the relationship are aligned with your partner’s. Always stay true to what you want from a FLR, and never settle for less.

FLR Dating: Submissive men outnumber dominant women

Remember, in the realm of Female-Led Relationships, you are very much in a buyer’s market. The world is brimming with submissive men who are eager and willing to serve genuinely and selflessly. So, if you find yourself with someone who’s more kink-obsessed than aligned with your vision of a FLR, don’t be afraid to keep looking. Here’s why you should embrace this exciting journey with confidence:

• Abundance of Choices: There are many submissive men out there who are searching for a strong, confident woman to lead them. These men understand and appreciate the beauty of a true FLR and are willing to put your needs and desires first.
• You Set the Standards: In this dynamic, you have the power to set the standards for what you want in the relationship. If a man doesn’t meet your expectations or align with your vision, you have every right to move on.
• Quality over Quantity: While there may be a multitude of submissive men, focus on quality. You deserve someone who not only understands the FLR dynamic but also respects and cherishes your leadership.
• Your Happiness is Paramount: Never settle for less than what makes you truly happy and fulfilled. In a genuine FLR, your happiness and satisfaction should be at the forefront.
• Learning Experience: Every interaction and relationship is a learning experience. They help you understand more about what you really want and how to navigate the FLR world more effectively.
• Empowerment: Seeking what you truly desire is empowering. It reinforces your role as a leader and a decision-maker in your relationships.
• Community Support: Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. There’s a supportive community of women in FLR who can offer advice, share experiences, and provide encouragement.
• Patience Pays Off: Patience is key. Finding the right submissive man who genuinely wants to serve you can take time, but it’s worth the wait for a fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

In essence, hold your head high, knowing that you have the power to choose. The right submissive man who is eager to dedicate himself to your happiness and the success of your FLR is out there. Trust in your worth and your vision, and you’ll find a partner who not only meets but exceeds your expectations. Keep looking, and don’t settle for anything less than what you truly deserve.

See also: Goddess on the prowl, the woman’s guide to FLR dating